Next steps

As of October 2, I am no longer working as a lawyer. This was a decision that I've been contemplating for a long time and even discussed it with Karen quite a bit. In that pre-November 16 life I decided that leaving the job wasn't a prudent idea because with the arrival of James. Karen would not be working for some time and it would therefore have been incumbent on me to support all three of us. Nevertheless, Karen supported my idea of leaving the law to pursue other options at some point down the line.

After being away from work for several months following her death, I went back to work in March. It was the right decision for me at that for many reasons and I'm glad I did it. I really enjoyed many aspects of the job and made very good friends at the office. In addition, the support I received from my firm was remarkable and so important. But even as I was doing my best get my mind back into the work I realized after a few months that I was having difficulties putting my heart into it. Soon it became apparent to me that it was time for a change lest I continue doing what I was doing and allow the quality of my work deteriorate. Therefore I thought long and hard and decided that it would be best for me to leave the job.

So what now? That has been the number one question people have - understandably - had when I've told them of my decision.

Well, first off, I do not have another job waiting for me. This flies in the face of the conventional wisdom and also presents the obvious issue of how will I be paying rent and living expenses in the near future. I have some savings which will get me by for a few months, but I am already doing a little belt tightening in anticipation of not having a pay check coming in the near future.

What I am doing is pursuing an idea I've long had: to open a wine bar with a small menu of tapas-esque items some place in or near Park Slope. It is a long way to go before I will uncork my first bottle, but I have started taking courses at the French Culinary Institute on wine and plan to take a course in restaurant management when it is next offered in January of 2010. I have also started to speak with the many people I know who are in the industry and will be seeking any opportunities to gain knowledge and experience that will assist me.

I know how challenging this is, but have tremendous support from my friends and family, as well as the confidence to embark on this. In addition, because this is something Karen and I spoke about on several occasions, I know she is supporting me. All this said, it will take much more than just positive thinking to get to where I want to be. However, having been taught in the most dramatic and painful fashion that life truly is unpredictable and short, I have to seize this moment and do what it is my heart is telling me.